Saturday, January 15, 2011

THE VAGUE SPECIFIC

Never say, "I dunno."  First off it's bad English.  Secondly, it shows that you have no imagination.  Remember, you need imagination to get by.  So flaunt your imagination.  Make it sound good, but don't really say anything.  Don't tell me that don't now how to do this.  Saying that will just prove that when your Mom and Dad were talking around the house in front of you, you were not really listening.  In case you are one of those who let this part of their childhood slip by, I am presenting you with a few suggestions of what it looks like to flimflam the other person with your vague specific conversation.  The other reason why this lesson is important is that if the one with whom you are having the conversation is adept at vague specifics, you will be able to decipher it and bamboozle the person who thought it would be cool to stuff you into a dark cloud of ignorance. So here is your chance to learn something.

When you talk about this, say nothing.
When you talk to so and so, say such and such.
When you talk to whoyamaycallum about so and so about such and such, say nothing.
When you talk to whoyamaycallum about whatchamaycallit, say nothing.
When you talk to them about nothing now and then it must be a while ago.
When asked how to do this and that, say thus and so.
When asked how often you do this and that, here and there, say now and again, with whatchamaycallum.
When asked where you learned this and that, say here and there.
When asked where you are going, say over yonder.
When asked how often you go over yonder, say it all depends on this and that and the other.
When asked how you're doing, say come ci, come ça.  If you don't know French, say, so-so.
When you are really backed into a corner and need the straight flush of vague specifics, 'n say "Y', know."

If you want to teach the other readers about some things that you know that they don't, contribute to our education.  So that's it for now.  I'm sliding over yonder to get my daily embrace from dear Morpheus.  Great gal, that Morpheus.  Y' know.

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