CONTUMELY: HOW BAD CAN THE TRUTH BE?

Oh, no, not another $50.00 word!  When is this guy going to stop pushing these things on us?  Well, not this time.  Maybe next time.  This came up because there was an occasion last week when in front of my very eyes and to the consternation of my ears, I heard this, "Why are you dancing around the  truth?  You know that the truth never hurt anyone.  So if this person is a gutter snipe, just say it and be done with it."  Oh boy!  That really got me going and turn me into a real moral tiger.  It did this because I remember the long classes of catechism in which we learned about the difference between contumely and calumny.  This in relation to the teachings surrounding the eighth commandment (9th if you're in a Protestant tradition).  I reproached the speaker with the sassy question, "Don't you know that it is a sin to tell the truth about the moral defects of others to a third person?"  The response was, "They never taught us that in catechism class."  WOW!  Well, I suppose that's because contumely is the truth, and the commandment talks about lying.  The people who taught me must have been wrong.  They were perhaps on thin ice in one way, but on solid ground in another one.  Perhaps more related to the "Thou shalt not steal" commandment than the one about lies.  Contumely is really about stealing someone's good reputation.  Even if it is the truth, saying nasty things about someone is a great lack of respect toward that person.  Contumely is the grist of a great amount of gossip.  Now we all know that gossip is a nasty thing.  We all dislike being the object of gossip.  Why?  Simple.  So much of it is true.  Our head spins wondering where anyone got to know that about me.  We go from there trying to Sherlock Holmes our way to finding out who the source of the "news" was.  
Now, you've read all of that and you're saying, "No way. If you're a murderer and a rapist and I know you, you're toast.  I'm telling."  Well, goooood fer yoooouuu!  You should rat that vicious animal out.  It's your duty to the community.  It's the private, personal stuff that makes up the personality of our friends, relatives and neighbors that we have to protect from becoming public.  Just because we know the truth about how the knitting club lady lost her baby doesn't mean that we have the liberty to bust her reputation with it.  Just because we are privy to where the next door neighbor's son was before he suddenly appeared on the scene, doesn't mean that we can make life harder for him by sharing the truth.  We have the mission to help our fellow humans overcome their weaknesses.  We don't have the mission to make them the glorious mark of our inside knowledge about them.
So, be careful with the truth.  If you're interested, you might want to pick up the masterful comedy by Moliere entitled "The Misanthrope."  It will be more fun than the Catechism but just as effective in getting my point across to you from this "Thought."
Anyone know what "calumny" is?