STERCUS TAURORUM

Those two words provide you with good cover for when you want to utter something in disparagement without upsetting the decorum apple cart.  This is so effective that those of you who believe implicitly in Google, the infinite, speed of light know-it-all of 26,000,000,000 searches in .039528 seconds, was unable to come up with an appropriate image for this Latin version of the Anglo-Saxon equivalent 8-letter nasty word.  When I wrote the ANGLO-SAXON in the search space and pressed "go", POW, BAM, SissBoomBah, the screen lit up and immediately became NSFW, even in my own house.  Man, if the Voice from the Kitchen would have swished by during that few moments, this blog would no longer exist.  OOppss, I think I forgot how old some of you may be, so I didn't define NSFW.  Rather than to compromise your integrity by asking you to approach your children for the definition, I'm going to whisper it to you so that they won't hear.  Ready now, good! Listen carefully: "Not Safe For Work."  Be honest now, how many of you had to turn up your hearing aid for that?  Only three!  HHmmm...No comment.  
We all have to have an outlet for certain explosive moments.  It does happen that occasionally these moments arrive at inopportune times and rather than be embarrassed by the sound of our voice saying what we would prefer to snarl in disgust or drop a verbal bomb with a sick smile on our face, we choke it back and nearly die from high blood pressure.  That's why you have to cultivate something in a language that will not offend innocent ears, holy ears, young ears, conservative, older ears and a host of other kinds of ears that I don't want to mention in this venue.  Some of us have the treasure of being able to explode in a language that the audience will not understand.  Or so we think.  I was on a crowded bus in Rome with some priest friends of mine.  One of them let one rip in vulgar, gutter English when a fat lady stepped on his foot.  The driver looked in the mirror and fired back, "A little more decorum, please, Father."  Yes, in English.  We got off at the next stop.  Then it was OK to laugh.  So you have to be careful.  There is the famous story about the two priests from the Philippines who were visiting Barcelona, Spain.  As they were climbing the long and beautiful stairs leading up to the main entrance of the Cathedral behind a very alluring and inviting pair of female glutei maximi, one priest made a comment in a rather non common Filipino dialect about the AAA quality of the view just ahead.  When they got to the vestibule of the church the woman turned around and in a perfect accent said, "So that's what you priests talk about when you think it is safe."  They were walking behind the daughter of a famous tobacco baron who had extensive property in the Philippines in the very area where these two broken halo angels grew up.
Now I know how to say things in front of people, and in writing too.  But I am partial to the saying that is the title for today because it is so "churchy."  I really like it these days because it is Latin and even the priests don't understand Latin any more.  So there's a special sweetness to being able to cuss in front of someone in his official language and know that he doesn't have a prayer of understanding what you're saying.  I know, that's a sin, but it's a small one and I say an act of contrition every night so I should be able to get away with a few years in purgatory for that one.
So I close by leaving you with "ipse stercus taurorum non est."