LASTING MARRIAGE -- NOT LAST MARRIAGE

"HOUSE AND RICHES ARE AN INHERITANCE FROM ONE'S ANCESTORS, BUT AN INSIGHTFUL WIFE IS FROM THE LORD." (Proverbs 19; 14)
The ex-Voice from the Kitchen, now Belle, and I had an interesting experience this evening.  We were at the church where we spend a lot of time.  We sat in on a reflection/instruction about marriage given by a Catholic priest.  You know, the kind of people who don't get married by choice.  They still think that  the have what it takes to make sense when they talk about marriage.  Belle and I are Catholic.  Very Catholic, as a matter of fact.  We do believe that celibate priests have something to contribute to the knowledge base of how to live so that you can be successful at marriage.  This guy didn't do too badly.  I wasn't sitting next to Belle.  I was sitting next to my Puerto Rican colleague from New York.  So you know that she and I had a good time whispering nasty remarks to one another during this whole thing.  Especially when he said that women think that men are so uncomplicated that there is no mystery to them at all.  I leaned over and said, "That's 'cuz we only have one thing on our minds all the time."  She laughed and said, "Even you?"  Wow, and I thought that she knew me.  The guy was kinda cool.  He is an Irish guy originally from Maine.  He is good company away from the Altar too.
I did have a serious thought through this whole event.  I ran it by Miss P.R. and she agreed with me.  I mentioned that when you hear a Catholic priest talk about successful marriage you hear a lot about Love and Law.  Love is the real glue of the relationship.  Since Matrimony is a Sacrament in the Catholic Church, Love is the key element that has to be present to make a marriage successful.  Law is a stand-by reality in case Love and spirituality need something to lean on.   I agree with that, as long as you're not talking about Romantic Love.  Romantic love is fine, but it sure is a roller-coaster ride.  When it comes to identifying the core of successful marriage, I have come to side with the more scientific crowd, usually called psychologists or whatever else.  I think that they have a better take on what the foundation of a successful marriage is.  This includes the Sacrament of Matrimony.  No, it is not because the scientists are married and the priests are not.  In fact, the intellectual product that you hear from these scientists is far from being 100% connected to their own personal situation.  No, no.  Socrates was right when he said that knowing is not the key to morality.  Believe me, I agree with the scientific results of the scientists, but I have to abstract from their personal behavior.  But you knew that already, right?
Anyhow, they say that successful marriage is based on a well constructed mutual understanding relationship.  This well constructed understanding between the spouses serves as the foundation for Love.  It produces deeper love than Romantic Love.  Through understanding, the love that develops is based on intellectual strength rather than on emotional flexibility.  This does not obviate the need for the law, both legislative and moral, but it makes the relationship more stable and more satisfying. Since this is a more comfortable and satisfying state, Romantic Love episodes are also more gratifying and contribute more effectively to the stability of the union.
So, what do you say?  Interesting thought, right?  Say yes.  
I don't disagree with the priests, at least not with those who have some brains and who use them.  I do, however, think that they should incorporate a little more psychological science into their sacramental and moral reflections.  Challenge us a little bit.  Challenge themselves a little bit more too.  
In case you're wondering, I do believe in the Sacramental power of Matrimony.