YER FIRED, AN' I MEAN IT

Blame this one on Mitt Romney.  He said that he likes firing people.  Then all his opponents and the media bozos jumped all  over him. Let me tell you that they are nothing but a bunch of miscreant hypocrites.  They would not be the millionaires that they are if they didn't feel comfortable in firing people.  Who do they think they are fooling?  Not me.  I have fired plenty of people in my life, and it never was a problem for me.  By the time I fired someone, they deserved it, and I didn't feel the least bit guilty.  They did it to themselves.  Let me tell you a secret.  I got fired three times.  Twice, I deserved it.  The third time I was a pawn.  When you're a pawn, you leave and get your revenge by finding a job the next day.  Twice I got my revenge by quitting on short notice for more money.  No pangs of conscience there neither.
I could tell you a pile of stories, but let me just sneak a few quickies by you.
1. I can't be on time to work because I have a hard time getting up early.
     I transfer her to the 3:30 PM shift.  1st day she is late!  Yer fired!
2. I hire this guy with a long, sad story. 
     First day he reports 15 minutes late.  Yer fired!
3. Maintenance guy doesn't rope off a danger zone while he's working.  Suzy     Q gets hit in the head by a piece of wood.  Maintenance guy,  Yer fired!
4. V.P. gets cozy with Suzy Q against her wishes.  President has excused him twice before for similar behavior, before I got hired.  I step in, have a heart to heart Dutch Uncle talk with Mr. President who delegates me to do the dirty deed.  I willingly oblige.  Yer Fired!
5. Joe "Engineer" lies on his resume.  Hank the manager hires him before I run the background on him.  Once I find out, I tell Hank, get rid of him, he lied.  Hank says, "Stercus Taurorum!"  I say, "Up yours."  After a short chin to chin with Mr. President, I ask Hank, "You want to hold his hand as you both go through the door?"  Heeahee!  Mr. Joe, Yer fired!

I could tell you a year's full of stories about firing people and about sending people on their way because they delivered poor service.  But I won't.  Hey, I've told you that I have been fired three times.  I'm not immune.  Neither are you.  That's life, Buckaroo, get used to it.  The last time I was fired, believe it or not, I helped the owner of the company through the process and advised him how to handle the possible consequences.  So don't anyone tell me that Mitt Romney is cruel.  It is not a sin or illegal to refuse to suffer fools lightly.
By the way, I ain't voting for Mitt Romney, not yet, anyway.  The one I would vote for isn't running -- yet.  No, it is in NO WAY, Jeb, never.