The other day, I think it was yesterday, I received news about the death of a classmate of mine. This has been happening a lot to me lately. I suppose it will continue from now on. Then one day I will be the news. Until then, I'm here getting the news. Sometimes it brings me back to the times in my youth when I would hear the elderly speaking about something that was very mysterious to me. This is one of those times. My classmate died from complications that set in after a rather hard fall. Because he was from Madagascar, a particularly poor country, I could imagine him falling front some wobbly, bamboo staircase leading to the interior of a house built on stilts. Then I got further news from a friend in France that he was the superior and pastor of a very comfortable residence and parish in Grenoble, France. That's when I winged it back to my youth and the question, "why do I hear of so many old people falling, and dying subsequent to the fall?" This is still very mysterious to me. I cannot imagine my death certificate with the coroner's note saying, "Death was caused when subject fell at home." I'm sorry, I just cannot bring myself to believe that this still happens...if indeed it ever did. If that happened to me, I'd lay there in my $2,000 box blushing every single minute the cover was open. I'm a few weeks away from 75, but I'll let you put my head in a bucket of Hot Ralston if I die from falling at home. [Quick, tell me which early evening action radio program had Ralston for a sponsor? Anybody remember who used to say, "Stick my head in a bucket of Hot Ralston?"]
But then, let me confess one little thing. I now have an appreciation for the fact that it can happen. Even I am not immune to moments of disorientation. One or two seconds and I'm back. It happened to me just about a week ago. It's all the more embarrassing that it happens at night in the dark when I have just decided that it would be better to get up than to wet the bed. I have noticed that since I was quite ill about 1.5 years ago, I have moments of wavering when there is dim or almost no light. If I fell then and couldn't get up, that would be quite a sight. There is good news though. The Voice from the Kitchen [oops, there I go again] says that I glow in the dark. It would therefore be easy to find me. Are all brown people that nasty? ~(;-)-[--<
Anyway, I am beginning to accept the fact that old people fall. If that's the way I die, you have my permission to make all the jokes about it that you want, even if I am blushing in the box. It's better to make all kinds of silly jokes and snide gossipy remarks at my funeral rather than crying. No crying at my funeral, you hear? Especially if it's because of a fall...even if it is just falling from a foot or two, or from stubbing my toe, or from getting lost on the way back from the biffy in the middle of the night.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. But I still can't figure out how people die from falling at home. My Malagasy friend was a really nice guy too.
Sorry you are not getting a $2,000 box. It's more like $1,000 from one of the Trappists' caskets.
ReplyDeletePoor eye sight,brittle bones, woobly knees,vertigo are some of the fruits of getting older.So be careful, be mindful where your next step goes.
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