Sunday, June 10, 2012

MY POMAPOO IS MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOUR HONOR STUDENT

I have not gone to Google to learn what a pomapoo is.  Whatever it is, and I presume that it is an "it," it is said to be more intelligent than my honor student.  That is what was announced to me by a sticker on the back window of a gas guzzling three ton behemoth stopped in front of me thanks to a red light just in front of us both.
I have to say that I myself am my own honor student.  I don't own one.  Never have, never will.  So whatever a pomapoo is, it had better be pretty intelligent, because I personally know that I am super intelligent.  I am so intelligent that I was able to be an honor student before the "A+" was invented.  I am so intelligent that I know that the end of the year of my kidergarten course was the end of the year of my first  full time year at school, not my graduation.  I am so intelligent that when I played "war" with my grandmother, I either won or I lost.  I either got the treat that she had promised or she did.  When I won, then I got the treat and she did not.  Pretty smart eh?  I was so intelligent that I knew that I could not win all the time because the cards didn't always come out in my favor.  Bummer!  But I knew that.  I also learned that it was not such a big deal that at age seven I could read in French and English because there was a kid who lived near my grandmother who could read in English and Polish.  
Now, maybe because I was an honor student at the end of eighth grade did not mean that I was the head of the class.  Nope.  There were two people ahead of me.  Like I said earlier, since the "A+" [110% ?] had not yet been invented, they had to settle for stuff like 98 and 96 or some such failing grade like that.  
Furthermore, I was so smart that I knew that the nuns had not been paid off to fix the grades.  If they had been, I would have been first...if my grandather had been the "bribin' kind."  After all, he worked for the head priest in charge of the whole thing.  But nope, I was an honor student, but not first.
Twenty long years later I graduated from the university with honors.  Yep.  But you know what?  One of my closest friends got to be "Summa" while I had to pick my nose with a simple "Honoris Causa."  I didn't weep or cry or stamp my feet and pound my heels.  Let's face it, he's smarter than I am.  Who knows, maybe he's a "pomapoo."  Oh, by the way, neither he nor I, nor anyone else got an "A+."
So, I am my own honor student.  I am not a pomapoo, so I guess I have to settle for coming in second once again.  So if the driver of the "eco-friendly" gas guzzler is the owner of a pomapoo who is brighter than I am because of an"A+" and because the pomapoo can talk 10 languages instead of 8, I am not impressed.  Know why?
Because I don't have to have anybody walk me out to the fire hydrant three times a day.  That's why.

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