ARE YOU LOOKING TO LOOK, OR ARE YOU LOOKING FOR WORK?

I had some fun the other day.  It rang a bell the timber of which I had not heard in a long time.  So I figured that I would enjoy myself and lent an ear to the person who was ringing it.  It was shiveringly gratifying. I live in a ""Senior citizen" Mobile Home Park. I did say senior, not senile.  On numerous occasions, maybe 14 or 15 times per year I get telephone calls from representatives of construction companies who want to inspect our home for free.  Until last week, I said "no" every time.  Sometimes I would get sassy and retort "Nice of you to tell me that your here in the park a lot.  I never charge for people to look at the home and no one ever asks me to pay for the privilege."  One or two of them actually laughed.  One of them was enough of a dunce to say, "Is that a "No?"  I was brash enough to say, "Listen closely, the next sound you hear will be the clicking confirmation of my 'no'."  Anyway, I told the representative who called that I would consent to a free home inspection.  We set up an appointment and he came.  Nice lad, actually.  I was working at my desk, and he could see that.  I was polite but short.  He wasn't getting the hint.  In trying to sell me, he was managing to increase my blood pressure to dangerous levels.  So I simply said, "Isn't your purpose to do an inspection?  Go do it, I am busy."  When he left to go outside I gathered myself and reminded myself that it was my fault that he was here, ONE.  TWO, I  said "yes" because I wanted to have some fun.  So, I gathered myself and prepared for his re-entry.  The fun started when he asked that the Voice from the Kitchen be present.  I told him that I knew why he was here and that the conversation would be short.  I sweetly asked if he wanted a glass of cold water.  He politely refused. I asked if he wanted to sit down.  He suggested that he show me what he had found. There was more fluff than substance except for one factual defect.  He gallantly said that they could help me out of this "jam" for the paltry sum of $750.00.I said that I would willingly smoke one with him if he would share it, but not for that price.  What happened next was really great.  He called his manager, called him sir and everything, gave him a flowery description of the penurious state of our living situation and came back to me with a bottom line of $525.00. 
I agreed with him that the problem had to be repaired.  I figured I'd try to stretch  the game out into extra innings, so I said that I would consider it over the weekend [this being Friday and all] and give him a call on Monday.  He said that the company had a policy that I had to pay $55.00 to hold my place in line.  "So," says I, "you don't want me to call you on Monday?"  He wasn't having any part of that.  He could see his commission disappearing around that bend in a big, bad cloud of dust. So he calls Mr. "Sir" again and says that I am hanging on to my etchings of Hiram Ulysses Grant with fist clenched so tightly that he's going to have to slay me to get one of them.  Now, this is fun.  He keeps his composure and tells me that it is OK to make my decision known on Monday.  We shook hands and smiled at one another, wished one another well and parted ways.
The moral of the story is, if you don't want me to enjoy myself at your expense, tell me what you want straight as an arrow. I'll tell you back where I stand with your statement and then we'll both know that neither I nor you is tinkering with me.  When I look for work, I tell the prospective employer, "I'm looking for work."  I don't ask. I always get a reaction.  Sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, sometimes inviting.  It doesn't take long.  
The warning in the story is twofold.  To "Juniors:  Don't mess with us Seniors.  Believe it or not we know more than you do.
Seniors: Never give the upper hand to Juniors.  Remember, you know more than they do.  
Salespeople:  If you're having a good day, drop on by my place.  I can cure that for you.
The end of the story is that on Monday, the company called me and I said that I was not buying the service.  The person on the telephone just said, "Thank you for considering us."  
Nice touch.