So, you think this is funny? Try this on for size.
Yep. That's next. The National Brother Hood of Basket Passers. Location of brick and mortar headquarters as yet undetermined. Location of website presently under construction. There is some hope that it will be a .org but the determination of whether or not the union dues will qualify for benevolent contributions to an eleemosynary institution has not yet been defined by the prominent secretary of the Treasury, descendant of King Solomon, Geitner. It has been determined that since the publication and celebration of the august and infallible monitions about organized labor promulgated by His Highest Reverence Pope Leo XIII, of inestimable memory in his quasi divinely inspired encyclical "Rerum Novarum", the time has been signaled by the behavior patterns (The "Signs of the Times") of the members of the Episcopal College domiciled in the United States as being ripe for the oppressed and repressed sacerdotal class of the Kingdom located in these contiguous legal entities denominated "dioceses" to exercise their Ecclesiastically given right to organize. We, the enslaved members of this downtrodden class of servants of God do protest and confess that the brotherhood that we are presently forming is for the very best interests of the Catholic Church and its ever faithful adherents. This brotherhood will be strong in defining the requirements that all candidates for ordination will of necessity possess before going on to the anointing of their palms. We will also install a process for the careful choosing of pastors, beginning, of course, with the non-negotiable practice of strict railroad line seniority rules for the promotion to the "plum" parishes. It is also determined that four weeks of vacation and a five year wait between sabbatical years need to be revised. Eight weeks of vacation are required to maintain a fair balance between mental stability and the demands of the celibate state. Three years between sabbatical time is required to assure the updating of the current world exchange rates of prime currencies and the true values to be found in the world pool of tourist sites. Since job security is important to all the humble vassals of the bishop, no outside visitors will be allowed to perform any sacraments, at any time except vacation, in any of the churches that fall under the aegis of the most reverend pastor in charge. Actions of this sort will be deemed to be Unfair Labor Practices and will be reported "Quam Primum" to the "Officium Laboris Defendendi" for "Late Sententiae" redress and "Multae Punitivae, graviore grado" will be levied against the bishop and redound to the offended parish. Omnia Haec opera, et quidquid alterum, will be described in detailed and minutely edited and revised (without page illuminations by the pious monks of Saint Bernard) without possibility of redaction for a fixed period of 18 months.
Ergo, quid dixi, dixi...and if you don't agree, after my friends Richard "Razor Blade" Ricardo, Larry "Lead Pipe" Laryngheahl and Sean "Shiver my Shiv" Shaughnessy visit you, you may change your mind. So bishops, you might want to start thinking about the future of that funny hat you parade around in...and don't go thinking that you can beat us with hollow crosiers. Our umbrellas are shorter and quicker.
Hey, Dion, What's yer beef? If the cops and the teachers can do it, so can we.
No comments:
Post a Comment