SOCIAL BUTTERFLY I AM. HERE'S WHY

I am not a big lover of social events.  Most of the time I attend out of whatever sense of "social obligation" I can dredge up.  Most of the time this is fueled by expectations of tasty snacks that I can't generally count on at home.  What makes me this way is the fact that I can't control either the quality nor the quantity of the crowd.  Whenever I get ready to go to social events I know that there are going to be people there that I don't particularly spend any time seeking out under normal circumstances.  There may even be some that I may even spend some energy to avoid in my day to day life.  This is the human condition, so I am sure that I am not the only human with an attitude of this nature.  Now, when it comes to social affairs, I do have a system that I use.  Yes, it does work.  I do not stake out a territory in a corner or next to a column.  I do not make some person I like, suffer in my company all night long.  I make the whole party area my territory.  I keep moving.  It is a neat trick.  I get to eat and drink all I want.  I also get to see everyone I want to see and I see everyone I would rather not see.  I bring the "battle" to those who would rather not see me.  Hey, if I have to make a go of this thing, so do they, right?  So I make 'em do it.  Not only do I see them, I actually make social contact and make myself nice to them so that they have to be civil to me for a few seconds, even if it kills them.  

See, it is good to be social.  I get a chance to level the playing field.  When I am at these kinds of things I am a "crowd worker" and a "food grazer" hardly taking any time at all to sit and eat.  The kind of thing I really dislike is the "sit down dinner plan."  I always seem to draw the sort straw, so to speak, and get the village idiot sitting at my right.  So I prefer the opportunity to "hover, like a butterfly, from flower to flower, sipping and snacking and moving on, spreading joy and discontent evenly about the room."  It's a great way to go.  Once I have made about one round, I generally come full circle to the host(ess) to whom I can then bid my fond "adieu" and be on my way, happy that I fulfilled my "social obligation" just like EFR Dion told me I had to do.  You know the admonition by heart: "To live with people, you have to be people."

So I do.  I make some people happy and some sour.  Some make me happy and some make me sour.  Sometimes it's not mutual...now that makes "being people" really interesting.  

Take it easy folks.  Don't get uptight.  Your chances of being at the same party as I are pretty slim.  One thing you could do is to hope that the only time you'll have to fulfill your social obligation to me is when you walk by my coffin.  All I expect you to say, or think, whatever the case may be, is "It's about time."