Well, here are my thoughts for you, dear fat, over-fed, over-stuffed spoiled, ugly, wrinkled, pug-nosed slug.
I only feed people, the hungrier the better. So read my true feelings right there under your dripping, sniveling nose.
I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT PETS
Today, as I was out and about
As opposed to in and around
I felt that I would at once expound
About pets and not leave a doubt
In any one's mind as to where I stand.
I tell you now what I observed
With jaundiced eye quite cynical
With opinion close to clinical
That doggie’s health is far from served
Living at the end of an ever feeding hand.
A small dog it should have been
Who now, could only waddle,
For an obese dog, the perfect model.
Sad, this dog who should be lean
Lives with a human and not in a pack.
I share the planet with God given beasts,
The four quadrants of the earth they roam.
As for me, I stay close to home
With humans to celebrate my feasts,
mourn my pains, struggle to stay on track.
For company, it is to humans I speak,
Not dogs, cats, birds, fish or snakes.
When I share eggs, toast or flakes
A hungry man, woman or child I seek
Rather than a beast that cannot talk.
Furthermore, when human friends eat
They see to it that when nature calls
They respond before the residue falls
All the while remaining discreet
Without my needing to take them for a walk.
Today, as I was out and about
As opposed to in and around
I felt that I would at once expound
About pets and not leave a doubt
In any one's mind as to where I stand.
I tell you now what I observed
With jaundiced eye quite cynical
With opinion close to clinical
That doggie’s health is far from served
Living at the end of an ever feeding hand.
A small dog it should have been
Who now, could only waddle,
For an obese dog, the perfect model.
Sad, this dog who should be lean
Lives with a human and not in a pack.
I share the planet with God given beasts,
The four quadrants of the earth they roam.
As for me, I stay close to home
With humans to celebrate my feasts,
mourn my pains, struggle to stay on track.
For company, it is to humans I speak,
Not dogs, cats, birds, fish or snakes.
When I share eggs, toast or flakes
A hungry man, woman or child I seek
Rather than a beast that cannot talk.
Furthermore, when human friends eat
They see to it that when nature calls
They respond before the residue falls
All the while remaining discreet
Without my needing to take them for a walk.
As for animals, I only take them for a wok.
You've read me say that before.
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