 |
| Shake it, shake it, shake it! |
HHmmm...Interesting query, my dear Watson.
I actually think of this a lot. I also have to admit that I am conflicted by the question. I am caught in the middle of the struggle. When I give someone a gift, I strive for something that is really not a true need in the life of the intended receiver. I don't normally want to make a donation. I want to offer something that the receiver would not acquire other wise. Sometimes I get downright silly and I hope that the receiver will enjoy both the gift and the humor in the gift. I know that there are some times in my life that my attitude backfired on me. But hey, ya gotta have something to weave memories out of, right?
The conflict comes when I know that it is not a time in this person's life to be "gifting" because it is a "donating under the pretense of gifting" moment. So, to quote a famous man whom most of us know, "To live with people, you got to be people." So I control myself, sometimes.
The other moment of conflict comes when I know that I NEED something, but I don't want to ask for it because it is not culturally acceptable to ask for THAT. That's when it really hurts, but then again, that's when you learn about life. Another famous man (This one was infamous, actually) told me once, "It is more meritorious to be gracious under difficult circumstances that you do not choose, than to sacrifice in a way that you choose." Now, you'll all agree that there is a lot of truth there.
Then there is the gift that you get that you know is really a donation because the giver has pegged your situation right on the nose. That's a tough one. If you're like I am you wiggle and squirm and make all kinds of "humble" remarks like, "You shouldn't have," "This is really too much", and all the rest that you know as well as I do. Many years ago I was working as the typist/secretary to the Director of the Community. I was working in a large "house", an orphanage managed by nuns, on the second floor over-looking the gorgeous Mediterranean Sea. Every now and then the very pretty sister superior would come and give me a glass of cool water, a bunch of grapes or some such small thing to make my life more pleasant. I thought it was embarrassing to be treated so nicely by the superior, so I did a lot of protesting, rather than just being nice and receptive. One day she simply said, "Fratello (brother), you must try to make yourself comfortable enough in life to just smile and say thank you." Now that, I number among the best gifts that I have ever received, even though it was, at the time, more pain than gain.
It is said that the Buddhists have the attitude that it is good for them to beg at the Temple because it gives the donors the opportunity to do something good that makes both sides happy. They (the Buddhists) consider taking donations graciously as giving a gift back to the donor, the gift of the happiness that comes from helping someone else.
Bottom line, I am just like everyone else. Sometimes I do what I want, and sometimes I do what I know the receiver needs. Hey, maybe I should listen to Buddha, "Take the opportunity to make yourself feel good, no matter what." I suppose that with an attitude like that, everyone around me will come to feel good too.
Paul,
ReplyDeleteHere's a response to the "Shake it" thought.
I did something some people may think is crazy, but that’s nothing new for me anyway. Would you consider this “gifting” or “donating.” On my way home from church this morning I drove by a crew working on the highway, with a policeman directing traffic in 15 degree weather. Tough job. On the spur of the moment I drove to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts and got a Box of Joe, and drove back to the work site. I had to pull over to the side of the road behind their trucks. They didn’t see me coming until the last minute and one guy came over to see what I wanted. Maybe he thought I was his boss! Anyway I handed him he coffee, said, “Merry Christmas”, and left. I pulled out and went around the trucks and headed home. As I went by, two or three of the guys were jumping and waving and smiling. (Smiling in these temperatures-15 degrees-can break your face). So. “Gifting” or “donating"?
And the Plagiarism;
Any time at all. Even the next "first" time, I'll be just as flattered. Especially if it's like this one..."not mine anyhow". I had gotten it from someone else and thought you'd get a kick out of it.
By the way, you're right. I don't always admit your my brother. :):):) (Only kidding)
Denny (Reef Lector)
Thank you for the uplifting story about the coffee at 15 degrees. It was 15 degrees here today as well (centigrade -- Hehe)
ReplyDeleteAfter due reflection and excogitation I judge and declare that you donated a marvelous gift, filling both definitions, Evers to Tinker to Chance.
ReplyDelete