I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, GOLF'S NOT A SPORT

HEY, I'm vindicated.  Golf is not a sport.  Not any more than bird watching, driving a race car,playing bridge or fighting at a hockey game.  Now that they have to argue about whether or not a person can anchor his leverage point for a swing meant to direct a stationary ball I am convinced that this is nothing but wimps playing "watching the grass grow" with a ball [stationary, of course] for an excuse.

No wonder Tiger had time for extra-curricular activities.  There just wasn't enough challenge to his day job.  

I have never been much of a golf guy.  It reminds me too much of wine guys.  They never have a enough time at any event to tell people all that they really think everyone should know about their area of expertise.  Real athletes who compete in real sports can generally get the conversation job done in about 25 words or less.  Like, "Yeah, I did a mile in 3:5352618 in the Olympics last year."  Or we have the hockey player who can get it done just before the final buzzer, "I beat Jacques Plante with 0:0627831 seconds left on the clock with a slap shot from the left point, in Montreal." [Italics, his] 

I have no idea what golfers drink, but I happen to know at least one  hockey player who doesn't drink anything but straight Bourbon, neat.  

Look, if you're going to play a sport, play one that's going to make you sweat. Play one where the ball moves.  Heck, they don't call Bridge players athletes do they?  Oh, not yet, you say.  Hmmm, I suppose that the day will come.  These days anything can happen, sex has turned into gender, so I suspect that golf and bridge can turn into sports.

There remains one essential question: "What are the golfers who grew sturdy bellies to anchor their clubs going to do if the belly anchor becomes a no-no?  Maybe they'll have to take up bridge where they will be able to anchor their elbows on the table.

Oh, I loved writing this one!