CABBAGE NIGHT TRICKS -- 24/7 -- I ONCE HACKED A CLOTHESLINE -- HOW 'BOUT YOU?

One of my nephews had this happen to him lately.  After the event he got a lot of sympathy from his friends and neighbors.  Very touching and sympathetic expressions of compassion, they were.
"Hey Dude, I opened it and you should see what I saw!  Who you running with these days, Dude?"
"Hey, C..., wow, good looking lady there, man! Doesn't spend much on clothes, does she?"
"Gee, C..., I didn't know you used that stuff!"

I couldn't help but think, what if the same things would have greeted the old biddy with the hacked-up clothesline about 65 years ago.  We used to do those kinds of things to assert our allegiance to the ghosts, gobblins, leprechauns and spooks who were running rampant on the eve of Hallowe'en.  
Truth to tell, cutting clotheslines was reserved for the people whom you really did not like and whom you deemed "deserved it."
Most of the real damage was usually inflicted upon house and car windows with a bar of Ivory Soap.  You know the stuff, 99.44/100% pure, "It floats!"  The bar had a groove in it to facilitate the cutting of it into two equal parts called "Halves."  So, for a dime, when dimes still existed for a better reason than just making change, you could mark up twice as many windows as the Bozos who only had a bar of Palmolive or some such other thing that DID NOT FLOAT.
What did we write?  Real raunchy stuff it was.
"Ha Ha"  "Kilroy was here"  "Boo"   Most of the time we just scribbled zig-zaggy lines.  Believe me, even the ruffians didn't dare do more than that.  Hey, this was 65 years ago!  In those days, even the ruffians were polite.

So, now hacking means something else.  So, even though I haven't been hacked yet ... now that I've said it, watch what happens over night...  So, now, I say, I am the 21st century ruffian.  I figure out that if you're going to hack me, you're going to have to know the grossest words I know in some foreign language mixed in with BIG letters and real tough numbers like Ih8U@%**& in Sanskrit.  If you hack me it better not be for Viagra, Cialis or anything like that.  What I need is Colchicine that you have stolen from the halls of Congress.  If you're not pushing that, leave me alone.

So, there you have it.  My nephew had a bad day at the keyboard.  First he got hacked electronically and then he had to stand by and get hacked emotionally.  It should never had happened to him.  He never kept any poor child's baseball that had accidentally flown into his back yard.  Besides, you want to hack something real expensive and a real rare treasure? Go find yourself a clothesline and discover the 21st century Nirvana.