Wednesday, May 22, 2013

SICKNESSES YOU NEVER HEARD OF -- THIS IS PROGRESS?

Let me start by saying that one of the realities that I admire and appreciate the most about the 21st century is the human interchangeable spare parts technology.  It never ceases to amaze me that the heart from a 100 pound woman can give a 200 pound man new life.  I have written here before how I had an uncle with only one lung.  He lived a long and eventful life.  So, I guess I should not be too surprised.

This is not about surprises.  This is about abbreviations.  One of the more technical advances that I have a hard time coming to grips with is the proliferation of secretly coded diseases.  You know, stuff like COPD; PAD; CPLF; ADHD; CCHF; DVD; IFAP syndrome, and finally the chronic disorder from which I suffer, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ,  and that's only in English.  You ought to see what it looks like in Greek! or Hebrew! Should I say Japanese too?

Now come on, give us a break.  You're telling us that a person goes to med school, graduates and has to pass viciously difficult facultative exams just to be able to talk in code?  No wonder that when I go to the doctor for my once per year medicare "preventative care" visit, all my doctor does is to praise me for my marvelous health as shown by last year's lab results.  BTW, I did not make that up.

Excuse me, but I know what is wrong with me.  Yes, I do have some physical and mental discrepancies.  I don't have to tell them to you in code.  I got chronic gout, numb fingers and sore leg muscles, bad teeth, the ones that I still have, I mean, thinning grey hair, a heavy beard and bad breath.  That's the physical side.  The mental side is easier.  I am just bottom-line-crazy as a bed bug...and a mean bed bug at that.  So, come on, folks, let's call stuff what it really is.  It is rarely an abbreviation of anything.  It is most often the "Full Monty" of something.  

After hearing all that, aren't you glad that you're not the one married to me?


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

UHM, HENRI, COULD YOU JOIN US IN THE CLASS HOCKEY TOURNAMENT?

Fr. Henri Brodeur, MS
P. Henri Brodeur, MS

English = Black
Français = Bleu
Españ
ol = Verde


The last time I saw this face was two years ago.  It was looking up at me from a wheel chair.  I have been having that experience a lot as I go through life.  It's getting to be that I am happy just to be talking to someone from between a pair of wheels than from a frame of fine pine.  Anyway, there was Henri and he was pretty much the same guy that I had known some 55 years before.  Quiet, gentle, monosyllabic, direct.  I did not know him that much because our paths crossed in school a bit but then since I was two years ahead of Henri in school, as I moved along he stayed behind and we did not meet again until about 6 years ago.  He was in the wheelchair then.  It was an off again, on again life, but his heart was not up to the task of keeping up with the rest of him.  
So I did not know Henri to the degree would permit me to get too serious here.  So I will turn to my brother Denis, aka "Reef Lector" of Internet fame.  Denis and Henri were classmates.  As such, one day would come when one of them would teach the other about life.  So I'll let Denis tell you the story about the lesson.

1. My announcement of Henri's death.
Hi.  I don't know if you have been made aware, but Henri Brodeur from Berlin, NH went to the Lord on April 1.  He had been ill for a long time with a rather interesting array of ailments and sundry conditions.
The last time I saw him was two years ago in                                   Attleboro and he was in a wheel chair as he had been for several years before.  So, pray for his departed soul.
2. Denis responds
 "I have a great story about Henri.  Can't tell you right now because one of our granddaughters is visiting, so I have to close out".  So, he leaves for a little while.  Then...
 "Here goes.  Back to Enfield 1957.
We all know that every one from Berlin, NH can really skate.  Henri was no different.  However, he never signed up for hockey.  When the Class Tournament arrived at the end of the hockey season (The longest sport season in Enfield) I was a senior and was elected to make up a team from the 12 guys in our class.  Since we were only 12, I thought I'd ask everyone to play.  I was a bit skeptical about Henri since he had never played the entire time he was at Enfield, but I knew he could skate.  Man, could he skate!  I had seen him several times during recesses.  So, I asked him if he would play.  He hesitated for a bit.  I was thinking, "Well we got 11 anyway."  

I was going to tell him he'd be the only one in the class who wasn't going to be on the team when he said, "Yes, thank you, Denis for asking."  After the game, I said to myself, "Thank you for asking Henri."  

He scored three goals and made everyone else look silly.  If you're from Berlin, NH, no matter what your druthers,  you CAN play hockey, even on "figure skates." "

The moral of the story is not the figure skates.  It is that if you wait until you think that someone is good enough for something before you ask, you'll probably never get the answer, and the precious prize that the answer will bring.

Thank you, Denis.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'
La dernière fois que j'ai vu ce visage fut il y a deux ans. Il me regardait d'un fauteuil roulant. Cette expérience ce répète beaucoup le plus loin que je vais dans la vie. Je suis  en train d’être heureux quand l’occasion se présente, de pouvoir parler à quelqu'un d'entre une paire de roues plutôt qu’à quelqu’ un encadre de quatre planches d’érable bien polies. Quoi qu'il en soit, me voila avec Henri et il était à peu près le même gars que j'avais connu quelque 55 ans plus tôt. Calme, doux, monosyllabique, direct. Je ne le connaissais pas beaucoup parce que nos chemins se sont croisés à l'école un peu mais depuis que j'avais deux ans d'avance sur Henri à l'école, quand j’ai quitte Enfield, NH,  il est resté derrière et nous ne nous avons pas rencontré de nouveau jusqu'à ce que, il ya environ 6 ans, nous avons jase un petit bout quand  était dans le fauteuil roulant. C'était une situation ou aujourd’hui il était bien et demain, non pas. Son cœur n'était pas à la tâche de soutenir le reste de son corps.
Donc je n’ai pas connu Henri a un niveau d’intimité qui  me permettrait d'être trop sérieux dans mon jugement de sa personne. Je vais donc demander à mon frère Denis, alias «Reef Lector " de grande renommée a l'Internet. Denis et Henri étaient camarades de classe. En tant que tel, un jour viendrait où l'un d'eux enseignerait a l'autre quelque chose d’important a propos de la vie. Alors, je vous laisse avec  Denis qui vous racontera l'histoire de la leçon.
1. Mon annonce de la mort d'Henri.
Salut. Je ne sais pas si tu as été mis au courant, mais Henri Brodeur de Berlin, NH est allé vers le Seigneur, le 1er Avril. Il avait été malade pendant une longue période avec un carnet plutôt intéressant de maladies et de conditions diverses.
La dernière fois que je l'ai vu il ya deux ans à Attleboro il était dans un fauteuil roulant comme il l'avait été pendant plusieurs années avant.
Donc, prie pour le repos de son âme.
2. Denis répond
 «J'ai une grande histoire a te raconter a propos d'Henri.  Je n’ai pas le temps de te la raconter maintenant parce que une de nos petites-filles est en visite.  Alors je dois « fermer".
 Donc, il me laisse pour un peu de temps. Et puis...
 "Bon, retournons à Enfield - 1957.
Nous savons tous que qui que se soit qui est d’origine de Berlin, NH peut vraiment patiner très bien. Henri n'était pas différent. Cependant, il n'avait  jamais signé pour le hockey. Lorsque le tournoi de classe est arrivé à la fin de la saison de hockey (la plus longue saison de sport a Enfield) j'étais la personne élu pour former un équipe parmi les 12 gars dans notre classe. Comme nous étions seulement 12,  j’ai pense que je demanderais à tout et chacun de jouer. J'étais un peu sceptique quant à Henri puisqu'il n'avait jamais joué durant les presque quatre ans de notre séjour à Enfield, mais je savais qu'il pouvait patiner.  Mon vieux, ce mec pouvait patiner.  Eh, comme il pouvait  patiner! Je l'avais vu plusieurs fois durant les récréations. Alors, je lui ai demandé s'il voulait jouer. Il hésitât un peu. Je pensai: «Eh bien, nous sommes 11, de toute façon."

J'allais lui dire qu'il serait le seul dans la classe qui ne n’allait pas être dans l'équipe quand il me dit: «Oui, je te remercie, Denis,  pour m’avoir demander." Après le match, je me suis dit: «Merci d'avoir approche Henri."

Il a marqué trois buts et a fait tout le monde avoir l'air ridicule. Si tu es de Berlin, NH, quelles que soient tes penchants, tu peux jouer au hockey, même en «patins de fantaisie». "

La morale de l'histoire n’a rien a faire avec les patins de fantaisie ». C'est que si vous attendez jusqu'à ce que vous pensez que quelqu'un est assez bon pour quelque chose avant de poser la question, vous n'aurez probablement jamais obtenu ni la réponse, et ni le précieux prix que la réponse apporterait.

Merci, Denis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

La última vez que vi esa cara fue hace dos años. Él me miraba mientras estaba en una silla de ruedas. Esta experiencia se repita cada paso que tomo en adelante durante la vida. Estoy tratando de ser feliz cuando se presente la oportunidad, hablar con alguien en medio de un par de ruedas en lugar de alguien acostado entre cuatro tablas de arce altamente pulidas. De todos modos, aquí estoy con Henri y fue casi el mismo chico que había conocido unos 55 años antes. Calma, apacible, monosilábico, directo. Yo no lo conozco mucho porque nuestros caminos se cruzaron en la escuela un poco, pero porque yo tenía dos años antes de Henri en la escuela cuando me fui Enfield, NH, permaneció detrás y no nos hemos reunido de nuevo hasta que haya cerca de seis años, pasamos un ratito en conversación y el estaba en la silla de ruedas. Era una situación de hoy bien estar,  o mañana, no. Su corazón no tenía más le fuerza y la energía de sostener el resto de su cuerpo.
Así que no conozco Henri a un nivel de intimidad que me permitiera ser muy serio en mi opinión de él. Le preguntaré a mi hermano Denis, alias "Reef Lector" estrella a l’Internet. Denis  y Henri eran compañeros de clase. Así un día llegaría cuando uno de ellos enseña en el otro algo importante sobre la vida. Así que os dejo con Denis que le indicará la lección de la historia.
1. Mi anuncio de la muerte de Henry.
Hola. No sé si estabas al tanto, pero Henry Brodeur nacido a  Berlin, NH se fue al Señor el 1 de abril. Había estado enfermo durante mucho tiempo con una lista interesante de enfermedades y diversas condiciones.
La última vez que lo vi hace dos años en Attleboro que estaba en una silla de ruedas como lo había sido durante varios años.
Por lo tanto, ora por el eterno descanso de su alma.
2. Denis responde -
 "Tengo una gran historia que contar acerca de Henry. No tengo tiempo para desvelarla  ahora, porque una de nuestras nietas está de visita. Así que tengo que "cerrar".
 Por lo tanto, me dejo un poco de tiempo. Y entonces...
 "Bueno, de vuelta a Enfield - 1957.
Todos sabemos quién es originario de Berlín, NH realmente puede patinar muy bien. Henri no fue diferente. Sin embargo, nunca se ha registrado para el hockey. Cuando el torneo de clase se produjo a finales de la temporada de hockey (la temporada más larga del deporte a Enfield) Yo era la persona elegida para formar un equipo entre los 12 chicos de nuestra clase. Como sólo estuvimos 12, creo que me gustaría pedir a todos y invitarlos a participar en la jugada. Yo estaba un poco escéptico porque Henri nunca había jugado durante los casi cuatro años de nuestra estancia en Enfield, pero sabía que podía patinar. Vaya, este chico podría patinar. Bueno, como pudo patinar! Lo vi varias veces durante los descansos. Así que le pregunté si quería jugar. Dudó un poco. Yo pensé: "Bueno, somos 11, de todos modos."

Yo diría que sería el único de la clase que no estaría en el equipo cuando me lo dijo. "Sí, gracias-Denis, que me pregunte" Después del partido, Yo dije: "Gracias que has invitado a Henri.”

Anotó tres goles y hizo que todos parezcan ridículos. Si usted está en Berlin, NH, sean cuales sean sus gustos, usted puede jugar al hockey, incluso con " patines de fantasia."

La moraleja de esta historia no tiene nada que ver con patines de fantasia". Es que si usted espera hasta que usted piensa que alguien es lo suficientemente bueno para algo antes de echar la pregunta, es probable que nunca obtendría la respuesta, y ni siquiera  el premio preciado que proporcionaría la respuesta .

Gracias, Denis.




Thursday, May 9, 2013

PICKING A PAIR OF CHEAP CHEATERS FOR READING

I have to tell you this story.  I also have to tell you that I have other, more important things to do, but this is too rich to take the chance that I will forget it.
I could start this story way back before creation, but the deluge is more fun, so I'll just dive in with a very short introduction.

A couple of years ago I had new synthetic lens implanted in my cataract-filled eyes.  After all was said and done I needed to get some spectacles that would allow me to read and to operate my computer.  The doctor told me that all I would need would be some $1.00 "Cheaters" from the thrift store.  I followed his suggestion and went to the store.  I walked in, picked up two pairs for the sake of multi-location operations, paid my $2.14 (VAT in California) and left.  I would have been gone in three minutes, but because of the line at the cash register, It was more like eight minutes,  DONE!

Today, while at the $0.96 store for other errands, I saw something akin to the picture featured above.  Yes, a nice looking lady whom I think, was shopping for a pair of reading glasses.  Maybe even two, what do I know?  I don't even know if she was shopping for "reading" glasses or for "look good" glasses.  She never once glanced at anything that had any writing on it to verify the effective results of having the glasses sitting on her nose.  Oh no, not this person.  All she ever looked at was her face in the little mirror provided for such as she.  I went around, bought my two items, cashed out and sneaked a look over my shoulder as I was leaving and there was the lovely lady still trying to figure something out by trying on cheap cheaters and checking the effect in the mirror.  I don't know at what time she arrived there to begin her project, but I do know for a fact that she was still at it at least 12 minutes more while I was casually sneaking snoopy goo-goo eyed glances at her to see if she was making any progress.

I have to say, I did think that here was a rather exquisite example of the essential difference between a man and a woman.  A man goes to buy glasses to see what is written on the printed page more clearly.  A woman goes to buy glasses so that she can spend time looking at her reflection so that she can see how she looks more clearly.  It's an interesting thought.  The only conclusion I could not make about this experience was the answer to the question:  "I wonder how many times a month she does this?

Oh, yes, I still have the two pair that I bought.  They still work fine and I am still as ugly as I was the day that I bought them.