J'EVER BOUNCE A CHECK? HOW HIGH? MISCALCULATE THE "FLOAT?"

Supercheck.  12 protective features to prevent nefarious activities against you and your checking account from the outside.  That's all fine.  Well and good too.  What I need  is a check book that's going to provide an infinite number of protective measures against my screwing up my account all by myself.  Now, listen to my story and you will see just how bad it can really get.
Some of you elder statespeople can perhaps remember the "float."  Some of us had it down to a science.  Write a check on Friday afternoon with the 95% assurance that the process would not affect your account until Tuesday.  Plenty of time to cover it on Monday, and maybe even first thing on Tuesday morning.  Now, be honest, how many times did you do that?
Nowadays, that is totally impossible.  You write a check, the merchant runs it through the bar scanner and BAM!, your money is gone...if you have money.  If not, you're over-drafted and more money will find its way out of your pocket.  Some of us had to be dragged into the ways of the 21st century the hard, and expensive, way.  The school of hard knocks has a very high tuition.
Now hear this true story.  I wrote a check on Friday to pay the rent.  I brought it to the office in the early afternoon.  I remember well that often times the management doesn't go to the bank until Monday.   So I wrote the check, knowing that Monday would be clear.  Now, you have to know that I have  a message connection between the bank and my cell phone, the bank and my computer and of course over the telephone.  So, early Monday my telephone tells me that I have bounced the check.  I run to my computer and my computer tells me that I have bounced the check.  My telephone rings and it tells me that I now have a positive balance.  I run back to my computer and there is no sign of the deposit that should show as happening on Monday.  I am now totally mystified, so I call the bank on the voice line and the sweet thing on the other end of the line tells me that she shows that the deposit that I am seeking as "pending." Pending?  For what?
I run back to my computer and try to find the deposit.  By a fluke, I find it as having been effected on Friday instead of Monday.  Wha??  So now I go back to check the balance, and sure enough it is in positive territory.  I say to myself, "Hmmm, what about the overdraft fee?"  I'm wondering almost out loud if the computer is going to be able to sort out the traffic jam.  Actually, I don't really care about sorting it out, all I'm caring about is that the overdraft gets cancelled, or becomes non-existent.
Well, boys and girls, everything worked out fine.  The electronic traffic jam did not claim me as its victim.  I still  have no idea if it took any human intervention to clear it up, but one thing is for sure, the gamble that I took by writing paper that was only good for kite making, turned out OK.  One thing is for sure, I will not trust my intuition about the management practices of the front office any more.