EPITAPHS FOR THE AGES

2012by ~vuzel

Digital Art / Drawings / Surreal

©2011-2012 ~vuzel

Digital Art / Drawings / Surreal

©2011-2012 ~vuzel

This came to me today.   Lots of stuff comes to me and sometimes (most times) I forget it.  Not this time.  This time I remembered and tonight I sat down and in thirty minutes came up with nine screwy epitaphs.  No, not the kind you can see at the Old North Church in Boston.  These are reminiscent of the game we used to play with band names.  So, I'm throwing these out at you and inviting you to play along with me.  Here, I'll go first to get you in the mood, then you can see what you come up with.  Don't forget to carry a slab of paper and a pencil with you.  These things have a way of flashing by you when you least expect it.  Be a sport and get on board.  If you don't, you're probably the type who would go right ahead and cry at my funeral, despite my urging to the contrary.
Here we go:


1. I KEPT TELLING HIM THAT MY FEET WERE KILLING ME.

2. I SAW YOU CRYIN BY MY COFFIN
NOW I AM THE ONE WHOSE LAWFFIN
CUZ YOU AIN'T DOIN' NO MORE COUGHIN

3. THE ECONOMY MUST BE BAD
NOT A JOB CAN BE HAD
NO DAISIES TO PUSH -- IT IS SAD

4. I WAS THINKING CREMATION
BUT I HAD ALREADY BOUGHT THE COFFIN
'TWOULDA BEEN A SHAME TO BURN IT TOO

5. I HAD TWO SONS
ONE WAS THIN, ONE WAS NOT
THEY WERE BOTH SLICK AS SNOT
OR SO THEY THOUGHT
BUT NOW MY BILLS ARE ALL THEY GOT

6. HE SAID I'LL BURY YOU FOR A SONG
BUT ALL I GOT WAS A RINGING GONG

7. IT COST A FORTUNE FOR THIS STONE
BUT I'LL GET EVEN
THEY DIDN'T GET MY I-PHONE

8. HERE I LIE, QUIET AND STILL
AND MY WIFE STILL HAS THE BILL

9. HERE I LIE FAR FROM BROKEN HEARTED
        THERE IS NO WORK FOR THE DEAR DEPARTED