TEXTING ENGLISH, ETC -

i tried replicating this on my cellphone and literally went incredibly crazy trying!!!!

hi gd am b at u soon
or if I get a txt from the pi - gud am kmsta kyo

Now, look, I can read and write cursive in a language or two, but I have to admit that I sometimes get lost in "txtglish, txtgalog, txtikano, txtanish, etc."  I thought it was bad when I would get stuff like, ROTFLMAO, or maybe even just LOL to say nothing about what might be the difference between :) and :-) or even ;-) or :o.

i have been falling into the habit of not punctuating anything and just rolling along writing away with not a capital letter not a comma or anything just plain old words strung together for the recipient to decipher and if you think that it makes it hard for you to understand the string of thought or maybe i should say thread as is the present custom you should try me in french with no accents and no cedillas and it gets even worse in spanish with no til on the n and no accent on the verbs to differentiate for the tense and the mood o yeah grt stuff ohhh!!!!~~

Back to normal, if you don't mind.  This all got started in me when I ran into a piece on the Internet about the deterioration of the English language as it used to be called back about 50 or 60 years ago.
The author was talking about how words today don't mean what they used to mean even though they are still described in the dictionary the way they were back then.  He gave the word "literal" or "literally"as an example.  Then as I was reading another article, not a satire like the first one, I ran into the word "incredible" used in the wrong way, just as the word "literally" is used the wrong way so often.  My example was like, "He was incredibly old."  Hmmm, sounds like me.  Except I am credibly alive, so something, somewhere has to be out of sync here.  Besides, my birth anniversary is just around the corner, and that is a real and credible date.  It says so right there on the calendar.  So there.
But my incredibly, literal favorite is when I am filling out a form and the information to be provided is "Gender."  There is never enough room to write "masculine."  By the same token, there is never enough room to register the complaint that I am not a grammar classification.  Nope, not me.  I am a real, no holds barred hot blooded French Canadian male with the attributes to prove it.

So, my 21st century friends, neighbors and relatives, you have to bear with me because I am not going to stop punctuating my writing.  I am going to try to be true to the grammar rules like I know them.  I do not use plural pronouns to signify singular antecedents and when I want to use a relative pronoun, I will still use "who" for people, and not "that."  Believe me, I don't care what you think about that. My numb and arthritic fingers make touch errors, but my mind is still clear and I strive to keep it under control...and I tell you that sister Mary of the Holy Guardian Angels never taught me anything but right grammar, French or English.  So there.

So, all of you, have an incredibly great time, and I mean that, literally.

REWARD OR PUNISHMENT?

OK, people, strain a little bit and decide whether or not tying a string around your finger was a reward or a punishment.  If you think that is a tough one to answer, here's an easy one.  Was sewing lace on your shirt-tail a punishment or a reward?  Now that is really easy.  Just like this one:  Kneeling in the corner for 15 minutes.  Reward or punishment?  Being made to go to bed without supper was a favorite punishment in our house.  That was a double whammy because you had to do your homework first while everyone else was eating and then, you went to bed.  Pedaling your bike for a six mile round trip to go to the bakery to get day-old bread for $0.10 per loaf instead of $0.20.  Go out on a rainy night to pick night crawlers to replenish your stock.  Reward or punishment?  
I was thinking about this today because I wonder what the children of today get for punishment at home.  I was thinking that maybe they have to sit there and listen to a parent rant and rave about the displacement of their ideological focus thereby causing the emotional temblor that produces concentric waves of negative Karma which inhibit the positive energy of the enervated kundalini serpent from activating the key chakras thereby exacerbating the inability of the dialectic forces to create a calm and peaceful shalom.  Child sits there texting his buddy, "Kin u b lev it?  Where does she get this ---?"
"'l 8 t c ya 2 morra"
So, that's it.  Times do change, a little bit.  I often wonder what the 21st century equivalent of being forbidden to listen the "Lone Ranger" for one solid week is?  Or, what would wring a kid completely dry as effectively as being told "no, you can't have a Dick Tracy 'look behind you furtively' 2 carat gold ring."  How many of you remember that?  Hmm, just what I figured.  Actually, my brother and I both won on that one.  Now that was a REWARD.  Until we got it and found out that it worked well on radio but not at all on the streets.  So, did we win?  Hardly.
I bring this to a close with the real punishment.  Nowadays when you can see people actually cutting tomatoes while that are glowing with praises for the knife that you "see" them using to do the cutting, you say to yourself, "Wow I need me one a dem!"  So you buy one for $19.95 and get three others as a "gift."  Friends and countrymen [& women], boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen and everybody else.  If the merchandise were that good, would they "give" you three more free of charge?  When I see people buy what they "see" on TV,  I am consoled that I didn't get to "see" the ring before I got it.  Plus, plus, get this, with 65 years worth of inflation, isn't it just possible that your knife is really worth about the same as my worthless ring?  Heee...