SENIORS

14 YEAR OLD?  18 YEARS?  22 YEARS?  55 YEARS?

Now that I am 78, I am starting to take offense at the nonsense that gets aimed at old people.  Stuff like, "why is it that seniors are either cynical or bitter?"  Ha, you want cynical and/or bitter just get yourself a little closer here, whippersnapper and let me bloody your ear drum with the answer.  It starts with Y-O-U :-).
This is a question that actually appeared on the internet.
I answered, "Why'd you forget grouchy and humorous?"  I'm still waiting for the answer.  Must have been some teen ager who got put in his place by his 85 year old grandmother.  Man, I can't wait to be 85.  I promise you and myself that I am going to go hog wild that year.  Just beware, because I guarantee that it's gonna be a rich one.
Actually, we're neither cynical nor bitter.  We are the happiest bunch of humans around.  We have more funny things happen to us in the course of each and every single day that we have forgotten how to be cynical and bitter.  The most we get to be is grouchy but even our grouchy is humorous.  Let me give you a couple of examples.
Today, this very day, I was screwing in a light bulb [yes, Virginia, all by myself] and my silly, numb and arthritic hand dropped it and glass went flying all over the place. [It was a ceiling bulb)  It was also a $15.00 LED bulb.  So I scurried around sweeping and warning everyone not to walk around barefooted for a few days.  The one good thing about it is that it fell on the hardwood floor where the shards glisten in the light.  The one good thing that works well for me are my eyes.  But we won't get into that area of my capabilities, now, shall we? Ssshh!  
The other humorous thing is that my hands don't work well any more.  I have to read everything I write [ type ] at least three times before pressing "go."  And even then mstrakes ahpen!
Now, i GURANTEE that when the Voice from the Kitchen reads this the hail and brimstone is going to pour down on me for at least 1 hour.  Oh,yes.  Do you think that she's going to get the joke?  Ssuurre she will!
There is one thing for which I am very grateful in life - my plumbing is in good order.  The Off/On switches still work.  I do have a couple of false teeth but I only wear them when I go to church.  It's almost enough to make me a confirmed C & E Catholic, but not quite.
Finally, I still have enough hair on my head to make me look a lot younger than I really am, ya know,  around 76 or 77, maybe!
My voice is getting weaker too.  That's quite embarassing when the 85 year old guy in Bible Study class can talk over me when things get hot...yeah, in MY Bible classes that does happen.
So see, we old people are not cynical and bitter.  We're grouchy in a humorous way.  Don't forget it.