"SCIENTIFIC" OBSERVATION BY A 30 YEAR OLD PhD

Taken from "Time" Feb. 3, 2014
"The Mindful Revolution" by Kate Pickert

It's been a month since I have had any fun with you on these pages.  I could tell you a lot of stories about why it has been that long, but then again, I would have to waste your time and mine with MINDLESS drivel.  Oh yes, I have been busy, so busy that I really haven't much time to read the magazine by the same name. The other day I went to the mail box and there was the latest copy.  It was staring at me with the cover shouting out, "The Mindful Revolution: The Art of Being Mindful" .

Is that an art?  If it is I am sure that it was invented by Dali.  In a way that makes it nice because then you can tell everyone what it means whether you really know or not.
Actually, it can't really be an art.  If it were, then when I lost it I would have missed it.  But I have to tell you that being mindless is also a lot of fun.  It is more fun that being mindful because you don't have enough memory to feel guilty over what it is that you just did.  I mean, it's great.  It's actually a Mary Poppins flying umbrella ride.  I actually spend a lot of time cultivating mindlessness.  I practice it about every moment of every day.  I lose track of my phone, my earphones, my glasses, my shoes, my pants, my postage stamps, my passwords, my wallet and of course, my coffee cup.  Actually, my coffee cup is no problem.  It occupies the least of my time.  That's because there are about 20 of them in the cupboard and I never forget where the cupboard is.  Besides, the cupboard is where the coffee pot always is, too.
The situation gets more complex for me since I also have to spend time looking the fruits of mindlessness of the Voice from the Kitchen.  Since she never loses her voice, I never have to spend time looking for that treasure.  But there are a lot of elements to her mindlessness too. Have you seen my keys?  Hmmm...How about my USB flash drives?  My red scarf?  My "KindleFire?"  My slippers?  etc...  Actually, I measure my productivity by the actual number of minutes that are left for me to Shower, Shave, Shampoo, S--- and Shine.  Usually about 10 or 15 just before bed time.  Now, where did I put my Chamomile?

So, actually that Time magazine article was useless for me, as you can see.  Except for one thing. 
This young lady, child she must still be, doesn't remember that it was disrespectful and grossly impolite to check your wrist watch in public.  LOOOONG before cell phones.  In fact, if I don't abuse my feeble memory too much, a certain presidential candidate lost an election for checking his watch publicly during a debate.  So, sweetheart, wrist watch or smart phone, an insult is an insult, 20th century or 21st --- a loser is a loser.  Mindful or mindless, a loss is a loss.
Do you remember who that wrist watch candidate was?  Don't Google it before you answer.

Wow, I liked doing this.  I'll do it again some time.