In eight years I have yet to encounter a good barber in Moreno Valley, California. In truth, there is hardly anything good that I have encountered in Moreno Valley. I have a good computer geek, guy; there is a good bakery where the Mexican bread is delicious and baked in batches all day long; there is a good liquor store [that's not as easy to find as it may seem] and lastly, it is a stroke of good fortune that 99% of gasoline stations are self service these days. My last encounter with a barber was this morning, January 12, 2013, Pacific Standard time in the U.S. The saving grace about this barber is that he is left handed. Now, you may say, "Ha, so what? 10% of the human population on planet earth is left handed." Go ahead, scoff, sputter and stamp your feet, but left handed barbers are rare. The proof? I have had, at last count, at least 1,000 haircuts from no less than at least 50 hair cutters, just to be brutally and honestly conservative.
Furthermore, I spent 15 minutes googling for a picture of this human phenomenon and found the ONE that you have above. I went through at least 100 pages of search in "images" and no matter what I wrote, most of what I kept getting were pictures of barbers shears made for left handers. No way was I going to use one of those silly pictures. What does that prove? So Wiss makes left handed shears for barbers to stuff museum cases around world. Whoopie. Show me the barber.
So, this morning I went to get a haircut. I do that only at times when I feel absolutely compelled by my very loose social conscience to do it. You now know that the person who cut my hair is left handed. As an aside,
it shows. Never again. At least not to
that left handed hair cutter. So, that's what I get for discovering a left handed hair cutter in Moreno Valley. Double Whammy, that! The left handed person who cut my hair this morning is not now and never will be a barber. Not within the parameters of my definition of "barber." I didn't really realize it while still in front of the barber shop mirrors. It could have been the uncontrolled giggles and outright laughter of the Voice from The Kitchen that turned me on to the reality of what my coconut looks like now. But hey, my loose social conscience, my "insouciance" about my personal aspect helps me to laugh it off and say, "What the hell! It'll grown back in and in a month or so, I'll go somewhere else...like to my Chaldean brethren in San Diego." They're all right handed and,
they are
all barbers...even the Vietnamese woman who rents one of their spaces.
Eight years I am in Moreno Valley and no good barber can I find here.
Wait until you hear what happened to me at the doctor's office four days ago!
Let me tell you, with a sense of humor and a warped mind, it sure is fun getting old!
Paul,
ReplyDeleteI wonder what you look like now with your NEW left-handed hair cut. In my life I have never had a left handed barber. When I actually had hair I went to "Jazz-Bos" on the corner of Main & Appelton Streets in Holyoke. Then the Army did their usual on me but when I came out of the service I went back to Jazz-Bos. The father passed away and the son "Bob" continued until Holyoke renovation tore down those buildings. Bob then went to work for a guy from Granby and I followed him there. Finally I had so little hair that I started cutting it myself so that I had a sort of crew-cut. Now I shave my head once a week and I am now compitition for Telly Sevalas and Yul Brenner. But the great part of all this is that I am saving a bundle of cash by not getting the usual haircut every month. In the 14 or 15 years I have been shaving my head I bet I have saved well over $2000. The only trouble is with this is that I never put aside the money I saved.
Patrick Beauregard
Patrick:
DeleteI had an uncle and two cousins and an unknown number of friends who would never get their haircut at any other place but Jazz-Bos. What a flood of memories that the mention of that place brought back. I am sure to post your comment because it will make many of my readers smile in the memories that you have brought back.
Not a single one has yet to testify that he/she has ever been the "victim" of a left handed barber.