TRANSLATION - CARRIED FROM ONE SIDE TO THE OTHER

I thought that I would have a little fun with my friends this evening.
I just came off a translation project that covered 35 pages of French legalese and actually I had quite a bit of pleasure doing it.  The most entertaining part of the project is that I had time to make it happen and to make it appealing.
The appealing part doesn't happen much.
We translators are just like other professionals.  We have job descriptions that are sugar and spice and everything nice on the top front of the blog article.  But, at the core of the reality it is rings and dings and no time to sing.  Look at that picture and you'll see what I mean.  Anything up there about being able to read the original text as well as the old time pharmacist could read doctor scratchings on prescriptions?  How about trying to decipher blurry scanned images submitted from a country in a handwriting style that makes you wonder how many ways there are in the world to write the letter "a"?  That never gets any press...or any verbal credit.  All this is one side of the abilities that a translator has to have.  Check out the picture below and you'll get another side of the "skills wanted" sollicitation for help...
Yep, I want it yesterday.  Sorry, lady, this is today.  One hour is the best I can do for you.
"Oh, thank you. This shouldn't be too hard, it's a Power Point show that only has 30 slides.  Not too many words."
Ha, Ha, Ha,  One hour eh?  And I have to keep the formatting, right?
"Oh, yes, please."
Hey, lady, what about the fact that the there are 30% more words needed in the language that you want in the show and you want to keep the formatting.  Hmmm, and now we have been talking for 15 minutes and the clock is running.  Yikes, lady, you gotta cut me some slack.
So the translator gets friendly, no, not THAT friendly. So he gets friendly and he gets some background about the purpose of the translation, the real deadline that she has and the audience for whom it is intended. As it turns out, it is still tight on the clock, but it is doable.  So we get friendly enough that I charge her for the minimum one hour and she agrees to come back at opening time in the morning instead of insisting on the hour.
They don't teach you that in school.
The hidden talent that doesn't get any press is the ability to be laser accurate in the art of carrying the meaning from one language to the other in the shortest time possible. This is a constant part of my life.  I translate many very interesting documents from many countries, for many different reasons and in many different variations of the same language but I rarely get the opportunity to enjoy what I am reading because I have one eye on the project and one on the clock.
So, this past week I had the whole week to do the 35 pages.  The challenge was that the English had to be exactly what the French was.  But I had a week! I actually had time to read it, think about it, translate it, read the translation, go back and read the French, reread and edit the translation, compare the two side by side (thank God for computers) and take 8 hours away from it to let it "ferment" a bit in cranium juice.  Come back, sip it a little bit, add a pinch of pizazz here and there and the first thing you know, you like it and you still have two hours before the deadline.  Now, that is the kind of work that a translator just plain loves.
Too bad there isn't too much of it around.
Now you know some of what I do in my old age.

W-A-Y TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS HOW?? TIME FLIES !!

By the way.  I somehow touched the wrong button with my senseless fingers and caused the underlines that you see here.  I do not know how to get rid of them, and I do not have enough time to investigate the matter further.  So this clownish disclaimer will have to suffice, for now.  Hopefully, it won't happen tomorrow.
As to the title, it comes froom a comment made by Anna May.  You can see it at the bottom of yesterday's post.  Actually, the one before this one.  So, I respond...
Oh, thank you for saying that.  I wondered where all the time had gone.  The sweet kindness of Anna May has made it so clear, all of a sudden.  It is right here, in my hands, right where it belongs.  I mean, I keep looking at the clock and it keeps telling me that there just isn't enough time left on ITS hands to share some with me. That really burns me up because I thought thatclocks were invented to give us the time.  When that didn't work I turned to the calendar, and that was even worse.  I have a calendar on my computer that really has time down to a science.  It has the date and the hour and the minute, right there clutched closely to its cold hearted breast.  Do you think that I get to dip into that reserve? Mmmm?   HAH!  No way.

So now, here I am with time on my hands but NO time on the clock because the flies have it.  No time on the calendar either because it is all too week.  (Grrooaaannnn!)

The one think I think about is the saying  that we all have the same 24 hours in every day.  Ever hear that one?   I disagree.  I know that mine are shorter than those that I observe with other people.  I know it because I see them walking around the park like time has stood still.  They are just there making sure  that they capture all the droppings of their Dachshund in their little plastic bag.  I know this because I see it outside my window while I am busting a gut working for the success of the owner of the transportation company that pays me.  Hey, if their time were as short as mine, they wouldn't have the long hours to follow a long dog along a long path with time added for collecting excrement that the dog takes the time to leave behind every now and then.  Now tell me, that has to be "stretch time."
So, see.  The time that people have from the clock or the calendar is a lot longer than the time I have on my hands because neither the clock nor the calendar is taking care of me.  If I had the friendship of the clock and the calendar I could  be building model airplanes for fun instead of working for a living with this short time business.
Finally, I leave you with this silly thought: "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."


HEY, GOT TIME ON YOUR HANDS?  VISIT MY FISH POND.  IT'S ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN.  PLAY WITH THE FISH BY PASSING YOUR MOUSE OVER THE FISH "POND"  CLICK YOUR MOUSE TO LEAVE THEM SOME "FOOD"