I LO-O-OVE YOUR OUTFIT! ... and what about MY FACE?

This is an interesting thought.  This stuff happens a lot with us humans.  Some of you may remember what I wrote about the time when I had a fine beard.  I took it off after a short time because I did not like the fact that my beard got first billing ahead of me.  The other night, The Voice from the Kitchen and I attended a rather serious social event.  So, naturally, we got ourselves rather dolled up and plunged into the big, bad, broad world of special social behavior.  She was dressed in a stunning suit of royal purple, a picture of which you are seeing adjacent to this writing.  The skirt has a decoration around the lower part that is faux gold, but stunning nonetheless.  Believe me, after about 30 minutes of getting Ooohs and Aaahs of varying decibels of volume and varying lengths of Oooooooooohs and Aaaaaaaahs, she turned to me and said, in a safe for privacy language, "I think I like the compliments, but what about my face?"  (Remember I wrote about that too?) Now, I tell you the truth, I commiserated with her because I had been there a time or two.  After a short time of that I decided she needed a lift, so I gallantly chirped, "You've got a beautiful face."  To which she replied, "You're only saying that to make me feel good."  You're all elected to remind me never to commiserate with her again.  I've been telling her that for 35 years and she still acts like she doesn't believe me.  Notice the word, "acts"?  I will also tell you another secret, she really is humble.  Seriously.

Voice from the Kitchen, front & center

Actually, she had a chance to get her comeuppance and she took full advantage of the opportunity.  Toward the end of the evening she performed a hula in a group made up of volunteers practiced for the occasion.  I have decided to let you see the wonderful face that I have had to endure for the last 35 years...like it or not!  Now, you have to admit that it isn't a very bad face after all.
This is one of the consequences of what Eve did to us in the Garden of Eden.  When the human race started out, when we talked to one another, the only compliments we could either give or retain were about US, not about our fancy clothes, our nifty hairdo or a dozen other things.  The only thing to talk about was us and of course, some of the low-hanging fruit from a certain tree.  Once the fruit thing got resolved, then we got into a variety of modes, styles and fashions, starting with basic fig leaves all the way up to daintily woven weeping willow fronds, I guess.  After that I suppose, the women started to plug flowers into the array and the first exploitative action on the planet was the ex-foliation of the flora that hadn't even been given a scientific name yet.  Do you know why?  Easy.  Latin had not been invented and died yet.
OK.  Enough foolishness for a while.  I leave you with the final thought, a piece of advice:  When you talk to people, remember that they are people, not royal purple decorations.

GOD'S WORD -- HE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

WHERE ARE YOU?

I have had some of these thoughts for a long time, so I figure that I may as well spring them loose on you.  I am sure that there are some among you who read the Bible now and then.  Just as I do.  I have to admit that there are certain parts of the Bible that make me smile.  Sometimes even an audible snort escapes.  Does the author of the Bible books intend humor?  Many very deeply intellectual people have written important documents on the subject.  The consensus is that though the Bible is not meant to be a humorous presentation, it does have a lot of low key, subtle humor.  The problem that most of us have is that we do not understand Hebrew.  That takes away our ability to appreciate the puns and the sarcasms and other forms of humor that are undoubtedly there.  My feel for Bible humor is more along the lines of comparing our beliefs about God and others and some of the sayings and actions that we read about.  I therefore invite you to try to see the humor in some of the following passages.

1. Genesis 3;9 - The LORD God then called to the man and asked him, "Where are you?"  'Scuse me?  You don't know where we are?  Hmmm...

2.  Genesis 8;1 - "and then God remembered Noah and all the animals, wild and tame, that were with him in the ark."  So, you just now remembered?  Thank you, Lord God.

3. Joshua 2;1-2 -- Then Joshua, son of Nun, secretly sent out two spies from Shittim, saying, "Go, reconnoiter the land and Jericho." When the two reached Jericho, they went into the house of a harlot named Rahab, where they lodged.  So, where else would soldiers go for a warm meal and a soft bed? Hmmm... [By the way, Rahab did help.  She saved their lives and changed hers.  She is in the Genealogy of Jesus in Matthew]

4. Judges 4; 1-8 -- Deborah the sitting Judge calls for Barak and tells him that Yaweh will help him to win a battle.  He is to go and get it done.  His response is: ... "If you come with me, I will go; if you do not come with me, I will not go." Real brave commander, eh?  Catch the name?  It means "Lightning." I wonder if he was left handed.  Now get the punch line.  This is rich:  "I will certainly go with you," she replied, "but you shall not gain the glory in the expedition on which you are setting out, for the LORD will have Sisera fall into the power of a woman."  Don't mess with Gog's women, Barak!

5. Tobit 5; 4 - 5 -- Listen while the Archangel Raphael tells a fib - "Tobiah went to look for someone acquainted with the roads who would travel with him to Media. As soon as he went out, he found the angel Raphael standing before him, though he did not know that this was an angel of God.  Tobiah said to him, "Who are you, young man?" He replied "I am an Israelite, one of your kinsmen. I have come here to work." Tobiah said, "Do you know the way to Media?"  Of course I do.  I've been there many times.  Read the story.  The unveiling is at the end.  There is a lot of "good stuff" in this wonderful story about good, God loving people.

I could go on and on, but I won't.  I had this thought because one of the most humorous passages in the Gospel is the entire chapter 9 of St. John's Gospel and it was read in church this past Sunday. The characters in this little drama are so wonderfully sculpted that it is impossible to read this chapter just once.  My favorite part is when the ex-blind man really takes it to the Pharisees, they take offense ... ""You were born totally in sin, and are you trying to teach us?" Then they threw him out." [John 9; 34]
Don't ya just love it?  Geddoutta here!  Think about it, you probably know someone to whom that has been done.  Maybe it was you.  I know that I've gotten the bum's rush a time or two...once by a bishop.  I showed him, I'm still alive and he isn't.  Schadenfreude!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, cats and dogs, snakes and frogs, cows and asses, drink your water, eat your grasses, wear your fig leaves and your glasses, so when HE comes out from the blue, HE won't have to ask, "WHERE ARE YOU?"